Depression and the Military Spouse

Ok, ok, I know I said I would keep this upbeat, but to be true to myself, I have to bring up some not so pleasant stuff.

So, I am a Navy spouse, and yes, I am supporting my husband by following him to his different duty stations, enduring long deployments, and dealing with people who completely lack empathy towards this lifestyle.  So, lately I've been feeling pretty low.  Yes, I would venture to say I am depressed, not just sad or having a bad day, I am depressed.  I have been living in San Diego for the past 19 months and I am completely over it.  With every ounce of my being, I am over San Diego.

I miss my family and friends, I miss the familiarity of home, I miss the people and culture of Hawaii.  While San Diego might sound like a great place, it absolutely pales in comparison to Hawaii.  Also, I live in the South County of San Diego, so maybe the North County and its people are better, but I will tell you the people in the South County are not at all as friendly, genuine, polite, well-mannered, and as caring as people from Hawaii.  I think that's the thing I dislike the most about San Diego, is the insincerity of it all.  To be fair, maybe the people of South County San Diego are better than I have represented, but I have yet to make a genuine connection with anyone around here other than another displaced military spouse.

I sometimes wonder if this is worth it?  I know that the divorce rate is much higher for military people than civilians, but following my husband around to different places where I know no one, have no family or friends, or encounter culture shock makes me question why did I sign up for this?  I won't divorce my husband over his military career, I love him and I don't believe in divorce, but I really never expected to be this unhappy as a military spouse.

I think that most people are ignorant to what a military spouse endures.  I also think that some people know it's difficult, but think we, military spouses, should just suck it up because we signed up for this.  But just because my husband is in the military, should we not aspire to be happily married and have a family and just be contented?  Should I not have married him just because I knew his career is demanding?  His job ensures that you have the right to have a happy marriage, so don't expect me to just suck it up please.

I'm not trying to sound bitter or have a chip on my shoulder.  I'm just trying to expose people to the real struggles military spouses endure.  People are so caught up in their own problems they can't even be bothered to give a second thought to the challenges a military spouse faces.  Many people have no regard for how I'm doing when my husband's away, or no one cares to ask how I am, knowing my family is thousands of miles away.  I'm not asking for much.  I'm not asking for my husband's career to be less demanding.  I am just asking for some kindness once in a while.