Depression and the Military Spouse

Ok, ok, I know I said I would keep this upbeat, but to be true to myself, I have to bring up some not so pleasant stuff.

So, I am a Navy spouse, and yes, I am supporting my husband by following him to his different duty stations, enduring long deployments, and dealing with people who completely lack empathy towards this lifestyle.  So, lately I've been feeling pretty low.  Yes, I would venture to say I am depressed, not just sad or having a bad day, I am depressed.  I have been living in San Diego for the past 19 months and I am completely over it.  With every ounce of my being, I am over San Diego.

I miss my family and friends, I miss the familiarity of home, I miss the people and culture of Hawaii.  While San Diego might sound like a great place, it absolutely pales in comparison to Hawaii.  Also, I live in the South County of San Diego, so maybe the North County and its people are better, but I will tell you the people in the South County are not at all as friendly, genuine, polite, well-mannered, and as caring as people from Hawaii.  I think that's the thing I dislike the most about San Diego, is the insincerity of it all.  To be fair, maybe the people of South County San Diego are better than I have represented, but I have yet to make a genuine connection with anyone around here other than another displaced military spouse.

I sometimes wonder if this is worth it?  I know that the divorce rate is much higher for military people than civilians, but following my husband around to different places where I know no one, have no family or friends, or encounter culture shock makes me question why did I sign up for this?  I won't divorce my husband over his military career, I love him and I don't believe in divorce, but I really never expected to be this unhappy as a military spouse.

I think that most people are ignorant to what a military spouse endures.  I also think that some people know it's difficult, but think we, military spouses, should just suck it up because we signed up for this.  But just because my husband is in the military, should we not aspire to be happily married and have a family and just be contented?  Should I not have married him just because I knew his career is demanding?  His job ensures that you have the right to have a happy marriage, so don't expect me to just suck it up please.

I'm not trying to sound bitter or have a chip on my shoulder.  I'm just trying to expose people to the real struggles military spouses endure.  People are so caught up in their own problems they can't even be bothered to give a second thought to the challenges a military spouse faces.  Many people have no regard for how I'm doing when my husband's away, or no one cares to ask how I am, knowing my family is thousands of miles away.  I'm not asking for much.  I'm not asking for my husband's career to be less demanding.  I am just asking for some kindness once in a while.

Enough with the negativity/Baseball season!! + Random thought

Ok, so you heard me complain about my BIL, and hopefully that will be the last time you hear me complain like that.  I can't complain about my BIL and still be a good witness.  We don't have to like other people's behavior, but we should still love others, bad behavior and all, because we are all created in God's image.  I cannot be a good witness if I have a hardened heart towards my BIL.  I do not have to accept his behavior, but I must not let his behavior cause me to hate him as a person.

So on a positive note, I am ecstatic that it is baseball season.  Loving the Giants this year, and hopefully they will repeat and win the World Series again.  I can't believe all this hype about the Rockies.  The only reason they have been winning so many games is because they have a very weak schedule.  Well, it's finally catching up to them as they are only in first place by 1/2 a game.

Random thought of the day.  I wonder how many other military spouses there are out there like me?  Trying to be positive about our current duty station, yet still feeling like our lives are on hold until our husband's military careers are over.  I try to have a good attitude, but I still feel like I am only biding my time until the next duty station.

Back from Hawaii

Just got back home last night from beautiful Hawaii. Miss it a lot, but being away from it makes me appreciate it even more.

So I Lied

Ok, so I know I said I would try to keep this as entertaining as possible, but I have to address some not so pleasant things.

First off, I am disgusted by the thugs that put Giants' fan, Bryan Stow, in a coma. They are pure trash. I cannot even describe how infuriated I am that people like these thugs are out on the streets. Someone knows them and knows what happened that day, so hurry up and turn them in. And since you have been holding onto this information for close to three weeks now and haven't turned them in yet, you are probably just as trashy as these thugs and lack a conscience, so maybe the $100,000 reward money will appeal to you instead. I seriously doubt your morals, or lack thereof, would keep you from ratting out these thugs for $100,000. Just a thought.

Secondly, how do you deal with a self-absorbed, tantrum-throwing brother-in-law? I'm sure everyone has issues like this in their family. How do you deal with someone like this?

I'll share this little gem with you today. My BIL blames my husband for his problems. My BIL said that my husband, "f---ed" him up by enlisting in the military. My BIL also went on to say that my hubby shouldn't have joined the military because, according to my BIL, he was arrested and served jail time for drug possession as a result of my husband joining the military. I'm confused. My hubby's enlistment forced my BIL to make poor choices??? Give me a break! Talk about having a chip on his shoulder. My husband proudly serves this country, excels in his military career, and has deployed four times with more to come in the future. But I guess instead of serving this great nation, my hubby should've spent the last 10 years being a parent to his 30-year-old brother.

Hope you find some enjoyment in this

I will attempt to make this blog as entertaining as possible, but that might be a stretch.  I like to crochet amigurumi.  I am also a full-time student.  I am kind of a nerd, so if that appeals to you, please read my blog.  Thank you.